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It has occured to me that so many things would be easier in my literary life if only I’d subjected my computer and tablet keyboards to a sobriety test prior to using them.

Ac razy way to live, if you ask me!!

See what i mean?!?

Then the keyboard tries to take me down a notch, by giving me the diminutive ‘i’ instead of the more personal pronoun ‘I’. You know you got it rough when the computer treats you like a nobody. Or maybe I am.

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. Later tonight, I’ll hold a keyboard melting party. I may even stomp the hell out of it for good measure. Better be wearing shoes. don’t want to burn my little tootsies while I whup-ass on that infernal device.

Maybe I’m losing my grip on reality. Anyway, a cold beer and a good cigar might mellow me out before I have to resort to such extreme measures. Who knows?